Uhg, well Friday came and Friday went and I failed you all! Oh well, I will continue to do my best to be more consistent, not beating myself up for missing the first Friday. I understand that it is Spring Break at my house, so my Friday did not contain my usual Reminder, which is the first step to starting a new habit. So I am using doTERRA's Forgive blend to help with self love and here I am writing my blog post.
I am also reminding myself of the healthy habits that I have committed too and I am sharing those with everyone who is interested. In fact it was a great week for sharing. I was able to help several family members this week with some ongoing health issues. Helping people, especially family to get relief when nothing else seems to work, is truly priceless. It feels so amazing to see them feel better and because they made a choice to help themselves. I get see them not only feel better but feel and be empowered to take charge of their own health. doTERRA Essential oils truly are amazing gifts from the earth, their purity is beyond any other I have found and the results are proof! I feel so fortunate to have something that not only helps the health and well-being of everyone who comes in contact with the oils, but it also can help me to support my family financially. And for those who choose to join me in my mission to empower others to heal themselves, I also get to see those friends and family begin to support themselves financially. Who knew it would feel so go to help so many on so many levels. Soon, I will be able to teach the Practice of Reiki in addition to essential oils education, I am loving my path!!!! Helping others to create healthy habits that lead to wellness, YES, YES, YES!!!!!
First, I want to thank my dear friend for poking me the other day and reminding me it had been a LONG time since I posted. I expected to be writing posts way more often, daily was my plan, remember this blog was called, My Daily Journey.... Well "daily" is not going to work for me, obviously. And when things aren't fun I typically bail.
I have what I jokingly call Shiny Ball Syndrome. I get a great idea, find or learn something new and I get very excited. Then after a while I often loose interest in that said topic or at least loose passion for it. I used to think this was a bad thing, but what I realized recently is that I have a drive, a need to be fulfilled and when I do something for a while and it can't sustain me, I move on AND THAT IS OK. I know when it is wrong and I leave, why stay if I am not happy and have no reason to stay. However, those damn limiting beliefs of the past, can and do sneak in and the other day I found myself really starting to worry if I would ever stick with anything long term. (ahh damn worry, sneaking in, YOU ARE JUST AN ILLUSION, GO AWAY)
I decided to think about all the thing I have "stuck with". I have been with my husband for almost 17 years and I plan to stay indefinitely. The healing path I am on is a keeper as well. There is no way I can back to my old though patterns and habits, I know too much to go back. The way we eat, I will never go back to fast food, top ramen, grain fed beef and pesticides, it just won't happen. Essential Oils and other natural health options are here to stay, going back to OTC meds, no way, not now that I know the power of EO's, not gonna happen. There are things that I keep in my life, so what makes those thing different? I had to remind myself.
I have grown because of these things. Each one helped me to move into the place that I wanted to be. Also, they are things that continue to sustain me and interest me and keep me moving in a positive direction. There is more to learn about them all, so they are never-ending as far as interest and knowledge, I can keep learning about them.
I really want to continue this blog on a regular basis and since it fits some of the above "keeper" criteria, I guess I need to make this into a habit. In fact, I can think of several other good habits that I desperately want to start, like taking vitamins consistently. So how do I start a new habit?
I found this great article called The 3 R's of Habit Change: How To Start New Habits That Actually Stick by James Clear.
The 3 R's are:
My challenge for myself, start 1 new habit this month, blogging regularly. How often is regular? Well folks, I am not sure. I have done some research and it turns out there is no right answer, only the answer that works best for me. While daily would be great, but I can not sustain that, it feels stressful and not fun and I like fun. So for now I am going to start with weekly posts. I am just not sure which day of the week will work best, so bare with me. I will start with Friday's, due to my schedule, these days are the most consistant, if they aren't working, I will readjust. Making this easy and fun is key and following my 3 R's
Here we go.... See you Friday!
I recently watched this talk by Dr. Gay Hendricks, in which he talks about relationships and how we upper limit ourselves. I am loving this because half of my perceived stress or bad moods are directly due to this.
He begins describing this phenomenon at around 18 min 45 sec. Basically we all have an upper thermostat setting as to how good we can feel and when we hit that limit we do something to mess it up and prevent us from going any further. This article, Overcome your Upper Limits, is pretty much the same info as the video, only it is written out. (not transcripts)
As I am growing and becoming successful, I am finding myself hitting upper limits these more and more often. Sometimes I gently bump them and others are more of a serious collision. It is really self-sabotage if you are aren't careful. It is similar to why people who win the lottery almost always end up broke very soon after they win, their upper limit for income is set and unless they really work through it, the universe will help them get back down to where subconsciously they think they should be.
am so grateful to be aware of this, because now that I can see it, I can start to raise my thermostat. Watch this short 3 min video below to see how easy it is to start.
My main symptoms of Upper Limiting myself are anger, anxiety and worry. When things are going great, I will find something to worry about which leads to feeling insecure and overwhelmed and almost always leads to anger. Throughout this "Upper Limit Thermostat Adjusting" I am using a combination of Console, Peace and Forgive Emotional Aromatherapy CPTG Oils to help with feelings of anxiety, worry and anger. All the while I am being honest with myself and choosing which thoughts to think to assist in my adjusting.
Marie Forleo, wrote a great blog post about Upper Limits and some awesome tips to help change your thermostat.
I always felt like a confident woman, I know think it was false confidence. As I am growing my business I am realizing how scary new can feel. I am finding that sharing myself with the world is going to require more growth than I imagined. I am finding so many limiting beliefs trying to slow my progress. Old crappy beliefs sneaking up and jumping out of the shadows. Beliefs I thought I conquered when starting my Placenta Encapsulation business 2 years ago. However, with Placenta Encapsulating it was putting the service out there and no so much me. I am leading an education discussion on essential oils next weekend at my home, which is a first for me. I, Keslie, will be opening my home to share my love and knowledge of essential oils. This is very exciting as I have been dying to share these little gifts with many friends. I trust the oils and their purity and can honestly promote and share them, so why am I so hesitant? Because I am putting me out there.
I trust that the universe will provide me with the perfect group of attendees and that those who attend will be there for their highest and best good. Yet, I feel fear. Fear of judgment mostly.
My Reiki teachings and precepts have taught me that no good comes from living in fear. Abraham has taught me that focusing on negative emotions only attracts more negativity. And the oils have helped me and my family so much, I just know others can benefit from them as well. So here I go, I am changing this feeling right now!
In this moment I am choosing to change my fear into hope!
I just took a 10 minute pause from typing, went and put both Balance Grounding Blend and Peace Reassuring Blend for emotional support. I then did a quick 5 minute breathing meditation focusing on the Reiki Precept, do not be worried, then went on to the focus wheel. I have only done one other focus wheel and it was very powerful. It allowed me to enjoy something that had been building serious momentum for about 10 months. It seems to have worked again. I feel remarkably better. The large lump in my throat is gone and my anxiety levels are virtually normal.
I am so very grateful for all of the tools that I have.
Wow am I learning to be grateful for contrast and how lucky I am to have 3 children to help me with this everyday!! My daughter had a complete meltdown this morning, over several things, and I was able to love her unconditionally. It was AMAZING, I really was able to see her the way source sees her, as a perfect being exactly when she should be at that very moment. For the first time, I did not ask her to stop her behavior, so I could feel better. I allowed myself to feel good in the moment despite the conditions I was facing. It felt very new and like home at the same time. Like I was finally seeing her the way my inner being sees her, as my beautiful, capable, wonderful child. I decided to move downstream and go with the flow, finding the positive in the moment and focusing on that! In order to explain how I got here, I need to talk a bit out my experience over the weekend.
On Friday night I let each of my kids have a friend over for a sleepover. One of the moms offered to bring doughnuts for the kids in the morning. She arrived with a dozen assorted doughnuts. How would doughnuts bring contrast you ask? Well, the contrast came from my vibration surrounding choice and fairness and my trying to control the children's emotions. I do not like when someone is upset because it has made me upset as well in the past. I used to blame others for their emotions, because darn it they made me uncomfortable. So here we are, 12 different doughnuts, 8 different children and my focus on trying to make them all happy, because what if someone doesn't get the kind they want. My solution, lets cut each doughnut into 4 pieces that way everyone can have some of what they want for sure (I felt so brilliant, no one will be upset) WRONG!!!! To the rescue comes my children, wailing that they want a whole doughnut, they always have to share. In that moment I decided to do as Abraham says and just GO WITH THE FLOW and move downstream! Trying to control them was NOT FEELING GOOD AT ALL. They were telling me what they wanted, so instead of doing what I thought was best, I took the path of least resistance and trusted they would all work it out. It felt very strange, almost taboo, but holy cow it worked. They all were happy and I didn't have to battle. Whoever said "if it isn't a challenge, it isn't worth doing," never felt the relief of going down stream.
I was so excited about how this worked, it became my focus for the weekend. Of course I was calling more opportunities to practice this and again, my children (and kittens) came to the rescue. The key to taking the path of least resistance, is excepting the situation and being happy unconditionally. It really helps if you are taking time when you are in the vortex, to see the situation as positive. Thanks to my kittens and their natural form of play fighting, I was able to change the way I view my kids and their bickering. Kittens are a lot like kids, they are doing whatever their instinct tells them to do, which includes trying to kill each other as practice for hunting. Well I want my kids to following their instincts and be strong creators of their reality. I want them to learn to trust their inner guidance and do what feels good. In order to do that, they need to launch rockets of desire which means they NEED CONTRAST! Who better than to practice that with that their siblings. And can you imagine how they will feel when they understand that I can support them through that and that I can do it from a place of love. Well, at some point they will get that. For now they are just confused at why I am no longer taking sides and no longer getting upset for their bickering. They will settle in to the new way I respond and it will be beautiful.
The Reiki Precept "Do not be worried" really came into play this weekend. I used to be far too worried about what everyone else was feeling, now I trust that they are in the perfect place at all times, it is not my job to worry about them or fix them. We all have exactly what we need inside of us, if we just look.
My doTerra oils Forgive and Peace blends continue to support me through the wobbly times. I put these tools into my reality for a reason, they help!!!
This morning my husband asked if I had gotten more cream cheese, what I heard was "Again, you forgot to get the one thing that will make me happy"! I immediately got defensive and told him that he didn't tell me we were out. How could I possibly make him happy if he doesn't tell me how! Then he said the words "Oh good, today is a defensive day". Instead of attacking him, which was my first instinct*, I realized that I had called that comment into my vibration, so I could get it back out. I immediately turned to Abraham (Yay for youtube) and found the recording below about being defensive and what it really means.
*OMG I did it, I was aware of the negative feeling in the moment and was able to gain control of it, stop the negative momentum and CHOOSE a better feeling thought! YAY YIPPIE! YES YES YES!!!!! The power in choice of fantastic!
I realized that I really am trying to make him happy all of the time. As a child we are often lead to believe that we are responsible for our parents happiness. Parents often say things, "Why are you making me yell at you?" or "Stop doing that, it makes me angry!" As a good little child, I listened and bought into that rubbish. I can only make one person happy and that is me. No matter how hard I try, I can NOT make you happy. Even if I do what I perceive as perfect actions or behaviors, I am in no way responsible for how someone else is feeling. If my action makes them feel good, it is their choice, NOT MINE!
I have seen this so clearly when I attempt to make my child happy when they are upset and the little buggers (so close to their source of well being, how dare they) refuse to get happy. The remedy is not what they want, how dare I even pretend to know what they really want, I am only in charge of me. In that moment it is quite a challenge to remain in a positive place. I want so badly for all of my loved one to feel good, but really that is not fair to them. We all need contrast, it is in the contract that we see what we don't want and there know what we DO WANT!
Lucky for me on our drive to school, I was faced with lots of bickering, yay contrast! They so clearly know what they don't want and have zero qualms about speaking it. Since this topic has been building momentum since they could be yucky to one another, it is really moving. It is like a Mack Truck flying down a steep hill with no breaks, how the hell can I stop it, I CAN'T!!! Yet, it was habit to try desperately to work them through the issue, which only lead to me being frustrated, because as I said, I can't stop this momentum!! So now what, I realize I have allowed the kds behavior to effect my mood. ABRAHAM< HEEEELLLLPPPP! So sorry kids, we are gonna hear what Abraham has to say.... (this recording was perfect for the moment)
The key is just let it go!! Yep that is all, Instead of trying to fix their fighting in that moment, as I had tried to let it go and trust. Trust that what is happening in front of me is something I put there a while ago. It is already happening, I can not control the actions, I can only control how I feel! So I looked at the Mack Truck coming toward me and decided to move out of its way. I CAN NOT FIX IT FOR THEM!!! I even said out loud, I can not fix this for you, so I am not going to try. I can't make you happy and you can't make me happy, it is up to us to make ourselves happy." This was not easy, but I had to trust and will have to continue trusting that the Universe is always on my side and all my negative emotions are just indicators that what I am experiencing is out of alignment from who I really am.
From now on every time my kids argue, I want to see them in a beautiful light. I want to see them a beings experiencing all the contrast they need in order to launch rockets of desire into their own vortex. They are learning what they don't want so they can reach for what the do want. This is good for them, they need this. AND, this is exactly what I wanted when I put out the vibrations and beliefs that caused the universe to make this part of my reality, even if I am in a different place now. Will this be easy, not at first, but just like with walking, we get better as we practice. And it will be much easier if I practice this when I am IN THE VORTEX!! Knowing that everything is where we last left it vibrationally is key here. When I am feeling good, that is when I can change my vibration about it. However, because my parents fought a lot growing up, my vibration around arguing is all jacked up and has been building momentum since I was a kid. Reaching to this place, forgiving my parents and my children and forgiving myself for allowing it to control my feelings is key. I will be meditating on this and doing my best to change my vibration surrounding this, ONE STEP AT A TIME!! Compassion is key here! So I will also be using some of the tools accumulated to make this process as easy and to reduce my resistance.
My tools for helping to adjust my vibration on this topic:
-The Reiki Precept "Be Compassionate with myself and others" We are all where we are and doing the best we can in that moment, be okay with that.
-doTerra's Emotional Aromatherapy Kit. The Emotions wheel doesn't have Defensive on it, but since defensive is really about feeling not good enough, I will go with the feelings of being ashamed, angry, bitter and use Forgive - The Renewing Bend and for my feeling of insecurity I will combine Forgive with Peace - the Reassuring Blend. Using the oils when I am not in the moment will help me to find the desired feelings surrounding these types of situations. I also plan to use these oils in the moment to help my brain remember the positive vibration and feeling that is possible and NOT repeat history!
Abraham Hicks says, "Words don't teach, experiences do, so pay attention to all the times that the Law of Attraction shows itself to you." So here it is, some of the ways the Law of Attraction has proven itself for me in the past few weeks.
For one, my husband custom ordered a car from the universe. He had his eye on a certain model and had focus upon this wanting for about 9 months. He was very happy with his current car, but had his on on this better version of it. One day he said to me, "I just know that that exact car is out there and for the amount I want to pay (which was well under Blue Book Price)." Sure enough about a week later he drove by a lot and there it was. The previous owner had only had it for a short time and was ready to trade up. The entire purchase process went as it should have and he of course has his dream car in the garage!
Just last weekend I was attending a Reiki Workshop near Santa Cruz and after getting a late start on my drive, I decided to turn my attention to what I wanted. I wanted to arrive with time to settle in and I wanted to get the "perfect seat". I let go of the details of this and trusted the universe to provide this for me. I thoroughly trusted that it would work out perfectly. It seemed as if traffic parted for me, I made record time without accelerated speed. I arrived with 7 mins to spare and found an available seat next to a women who had been with me on y Reiki Journey. After I had settled in between her and a taken seat with just a purse on it, the workshop began and my wonderful Reiki Teacher sat next to me. Not only was she joining us as a student which I was unaware she be doing, but she was sitting next to me!! I truly had gotten the perfect seat.
I continued to trust in this as I began my morning commute on Monday to take my kids to school in a town 15 miles away. Once in the car, I covered up the clock and focused on how great it would feel when we arrived on time. I am already doing my best to arrive on time, no point in stressing about what the clock says, when eternal time is the only controller. All the stress does is help me to have negative thoughts which in-turn attract more negative thoughts and experiences. All week, regardless of when we leave our home (5 minutes late on Tuesday), we arrived on time or a few minute early, depending on what we focused on. Not only are my ride less stressful due to the clock, but the undying trust I have in arriving on time is again causing traffic to part for me. I hit every green light and get there almost exactly at the time we focused on.
This lovely proof of the law of attraction works in the other way as well. Tuesday, after having having a negative thought and grasping it too tightly (I am a great focuser, hehe) and for too long (Abraham says catching it in under 17 seconds is the key) it sent me down a road of frustration and bad luck for the next couple of hours. Every slow car in front of me, one woman going straight actually sat through an entire green light, yeilding to the oncoming traffic turning left (wtf?), kids were acting out, I knocked over my water, dropped my phone, missed an important phone call, forgot an appointment, do you see the theme?! That silly little negative thought, held and focused upon brought me more of just that, NEGATIVITY! I was very aware of what was happening, but could not stop the momentum, it was moving so fast. Abraham says if you are that focused, you need to go general and if you can't get general because of too much focus, just quiet your mind. Thank you Reiki, I know how to do that. So I did, I took about 15 minutes to meditate in the reiki space and that helped a ton, for that 15 minutes all thoughts stopped! Then I was able to have a happy thought, "yes, I am calm and peaceful, life it good!" That was enough, I looked at my phone and there was a message from my amazing business partner and friend, after deciding that we each wanted positive we had a fantastic chat and both left the conversation uplifted and full of joy and gratitude. The rest of the evening went very smoothly! The Law of Attraction is so amazing!
OMG, one of the most amazing things I have created in my reality is my ability to sleep. After almost 2 years of getting approx 4 hours of sleep a night, I am getting 6 to 7 consistently. What caused this, simply the act of saying that I sleep really well and wake when I am rested. Every day since the insomnia started I had complained of not sleeping. I would complain to anyone I could, everyone knew that I woke up between 2a and 4a everyday, I wanted sympathy. What I got was less sleep. Well, a few weeks ago I changed my attitude on it. I now say to anyone who asks how my sleeping is doing (and everyone asks cause I talked about it so much) that I am sleeping great. That I get the perfect amount of sleep every night and wake when I am rested. Then at night instead of worrying about what time I will probably wake up between 2a-4a (like in the past), I say "I will wake up when I am rested, but before my alarm so that I can have enough time to meditate and get my day started with the best possible momentum and good feelings. This mental shift has lead to me consistently waking up within half hour to an hour and a half before my alarm. The time has conveniently corresponded to how much prep work I was needing for that day. Another part of it was all the time I was spending awake, alone in the middle of the night was quite peaceful and I honestly did not want to let go of it. Now I am making the best of the time and it feels so much more valuable. Not to mention I need it less, because I am not blaming my family and surroundings for my negative feelings.
I have found the key to being in the vortex most of time, is getting out in front of it first thing in the morning. Every morning I do Mind Valley's Envisioning Process meditation, followed by Abraham Hicks Well Being Meditation. After that, depending on time, I sit in quiet meditation for 5 to 20 minutes and listen to something from Abraham Hicks to get me going. All this followed by a gentle stretch and a delicious cup of coffee, and finally the gratitude for each of the things I have done to honor me. That is how I start in the my day IN THE VORTEX!!
I don't really know where to start which is why it has taken until now to begin this journey. Just over 5 years ago I was a mess, living in constant pain, abusive to my family and utterly miserable. An angel left a note on my windshield, which highlighted everything I was ashamed about and hated about myself. It showed me that I had become exactly what I was trying so hard to avoid being. Turns out it was the focusing on what I didn't want that got me there in the first place. At the time this lead me to focus on NOT being miserable even more, I did not know anything else. Again, The Universal Law Attraction lead me too the only thing it could, more misery!! Now I realize that all that focusing is what really lead me there so I ave stopped focusing on what I don't want. In August of 2015, I found Reiki. Through Reiki teachings and daily reiki meditation practices, I was able to experience the Vortex adn release all resistance. During Reiki Meditations your only job is to do nothing and think nothing. It was in this nothingness that the resistance began to release. I began to allow stillness to take place, which meant I was not thinking all those negative thoughts. In that stillness and in my quiet mind, peace and joy snuck in. It was that hint of release and freedom to feel good that helped me believe recovery from depression was possible. Here I am just 6 months later, do my best everyday to stay In the Vortex! You can read my About Keslie Page to learn more about my journey and how I got here!
About 6 weeks ago I rediscovered the Law of Attraction and Abraham (Esther) Hicks. I say rediscovery because I was introduced to Abraham Hicks by a very dear friend several years ago but was unable to fully accept the teachings. My life is no longer a scary set events that are just happening to me and that out of my hands. My life and how I feel in any given moment is mine to decide. Abraham has taught me the single most important concept ever, I am the ONLY person responsible for how I feel. Period. I have the power to be fully in control of how I feel AT ALL TIMES! I can no longer blame any emotion on ANY EXTERNAL SOURCE. What does this mean? It means that I can always choose to feel better than I do, no matter what is happening around me. Even if someone is screaming in my face, I can choose how it effects me. In fact that is all I can control, is HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT!! It does not mean that I would stand there and take it, nor does it mean that I would choose to be around to that person again. All it means is I can choose Love and Peace within myself at any given moment. There is no person, place, thing or event that can control how I am feeling, nor can I control this for anyone else. I create my reality and I choose happiness, love and joy! There are hundreds if not thousands of free videos/audios on youtube, from Abraham (Esther) Hicks, I highly suggest them to everyone. You can search for general things like Abraham Hicks Vortex or Esther Hicks Vortex or either specific things like Abraham Hicks Headaches or Esther Hicks Parenting (lots of parenting videos, my personal fav).
Ok, so for now, and forever more on this blog, I will be sharing with you how I am staying IN THE VORTEX!! Living this way was very foreign to me, like using a muscle that has never been used. It has taken time and many baby steps to get to the place where I could even accept these teachings. Each day is a fine tuning of this muscle. I will share events and experiences that lead to feelings in me that I want to avoid and I will share with you how I change them into feeling that feel better. I will talk about how I change my focus and therefore my experience in life! Stay tuned...
About this blog
After almost 2 years of deep depression and grief I am on the road to Wellness. This is a journey that has no end, yet I reach my goal of wellness everyday. Feeling joy and happiness no matter what the circumstance or situation I am in, is my goal! In this blog I share my struggles, experiences and solutions as I make this choice to live well!